This week I want to talk about why mental health matters, so I’m going to deviate a little from my usual movie and pop culture column.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, something that usually just gets brushed off. I think talking about it, especially in entertainment spaces, is really important. You never know when someone is listening or reading. It’s been a while since I’ve touched on this subject.
The last few years have been amazing, and I feel tremendously blessed. In the last few months alone, I’ve been on a journey that I never thought was possible. Come to think of it, none of this would’ve happened if I had chosen a different path a few years ago. I love what I’m doing, and I love the way my life is going, but there are things that I haven’t talked about.
To be frank, most of the time the things that I’ve done or achieved don’t feel like accomplishments at all. It’s not that I compare myself to others (which is something I still sometimes do). It’s not always self-doubt, and it’s not quite impostor syndrome either. It’s something I’ve been struggling to fully put into words.
I used to be open about my mental health and how I struggled to cope with it. I posted and wrote about it online, and I spoke about it in my videos. I think I felt comfortable talking about how I was dealing with depression and anxiety. As time went by, I shied away from talking about it. I guess it felt like there were too many eyes on me, and I didn’t want to come across as vulnerable.
I felt like I had an image to uphold, and that was another mental strain I didn’t know how to deal with. I didn’t think my platform allowed me to talk about how depression and anxiety can affect my workflow. I didn’t think people would actually care about what I had to say.
I have been dealing with it privately, but hiding it wasn’t easy. I attend a lot of public events, and that usually sends my anxiety through the roof. I’ve found ways to calm myself or cope with that, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always help. In those moments, I might seem distant or not fully present.
Writing this was hard, because there’s so much I want to say, but at the same time I don’t want to overexplain things. There are so many aspects of mental health that I want to touch on, but I know I can’t do it all at once. I think the one thing I want to get across is that mental illness affects so many of us, and the best way to start dealing with it is to talk about it.
I recently watched two separate shows, and both focused on the effects of mental illness and how the characters chose to deal with it. In one show, the character found help and ways to deal with what he was struggling with. He outwardly expressed what he was going through, and through that, he was able to get through it.
In the other show, the character did the opposite. He hid what he was dealing with because he didn’t want to burden others. Everyone thought he was okay; he was the same guy they had always known, but his mind was tearing him apart. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the help he needed, and it ultimately cost him his life.
It’s interesting to look at both of these characters’ challenges, and what makes it even more meaningful is that both were portrayed by the same actor. I know this is different from my usual columns, but I felt like it was time I spoke about this again. That’s really all this is.
